Current:Home > Finance'Madame Web' review: Dakota Johnson headlines the worst superhero movie since 'Morbius'-DB Wealth Institute B2 Expert Reviews
'Madame Web' review: Dakota Johnson headlines the worst superhero movie since 'Morbius'
View
Date:2024-12-23 22:42:06
If only a psychic could have warned us about these wretched Spider-Man spinoffs.
Because if you thought “Morbius” was bad, buckle up for “Madame Web.” Directed by S.J. Clarkson (“Jessica Jones”), the psychological thriller (★½ out of four; rated PG-13; in theaters Wednesday) barely clears the painfully low bar set by Jared Leto’s pseudo-vampire flick.
Burdened by bad dialogue, negligible character development, a lackluster bad guy and assorted B-movie silliness, "Madame" stars Dakota Johnson as a New York City paramedic able to see the future. While gamely trying to venture outside of her drama comfort zone, she as well as others unfortunately get stuck in the film’s web of nonsense.
The movie centers on Cassandra Webb (Johnson), who in the Marvel Comics' Spider-Verse is an all-seeing elderly blind woman confined to a life-support chair, but here gets a superhero origin story that’s sort of Spider-Man lite. Cassie is an EMT who keeps mostly to herself and her cat when a near-death experience unlocks these weird psychic visions that she initially figures are episodes of deja vu but are actually glimpses into a potential future. (Also important to know: Like with Peter Parker, a spider bite is key to Cassie’s tale.)
Fate, or a forced plot as it were, intertwines Cassie’s life with three youngsters – Julia (Sydney Sweeney), Mattie (Celeste O’Connor) and Anya (Isabela Merced) – and she "sees" them being killed by a strange guy named Ezekiel (Tahar Rahim). After saving the girls from being murdered on the subway, Cassie needs to decode her own traumatic past while keeping her moody new charges safe from this mysterious villain. Ezekiel inexplicably wears what looks like a Spider-Man suit, even though Spidey’s not really a thing (yet) in this 2003-set narrative, which is just going to annoy and confuse casual movie fans.
Frustrated indignation is par for the course with “Madame Web,” given its mostly unexplained race of mythical spider-people, Cassie’s haphazard visions and a ludicrous denouement. Johnson gives her character, who’s not at all comfortable playing cool aunt to a trio of trouble-magnet kids, a sassy scrappiness in the more grounded sections.
'The worst time of my life':Dakota Johnson didn't love being on 'The Office'
The superhero-y stuff is less successful, and not exactly subtle about its Spider-source material: Cassie learns about great power and having responsibility, and her ambulance partner Ben (Adam Scott) is about to be an uncle, so you don’t have to be a card-carrying Marvel nerd to figure out some things.
And for fans of tight outfits and superpowers, “Madame Web” couldn’t come at a worse time as the latest in a cinematic genre spiraling with diminishing returns. This won't help: Instead of being a breath of fresh air akin to the Tom Holland Spider-flicks, “Madame Web” is instead a reminder of the Worst Superhero Times (aka the mid-2000s), when we couldn’t escape the doldrums of “Spider-Man 3,” “Elektra” and “X-Men: The Last Stand.”
If only someone could have seen it coming.
veryGood! (7259)
Related
- College Football Playoff bracket: Complete playoff picture after latest rankings
- Shia LaBeouf converts to Catholicism, reportedly wants to become a deacon
- Global food prices declined from record highs in 2022, the UN says. Except for these two staples
- Police officer convicted of killing a Colorado man is set to learn if he will spend time behind bars
- Why California takes weeks to count votes, while states like Florida are faster
- UN humanitarian chief calls Gaza ‘uninhabitable’ 3 months into Israel-Hamas war
- US biotech company halts sales of DNA kits in Tibet, as lawmakers mull more export controls on China
- Guam investigates fatal shooting of Korean visitor and offers $50,000 reward for information
- Homes of Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce burglarized, per reports
- 2 indicted in $8.5 million Airbnb, Vrbo scam linked to 10,000 reservations across 10 states
Ranking
- Diddy's ex-bodyguard sues rape accuser for defamation over claims of 2001 assault
- US actor Christian Oliver and his 2 daughters died in a plane crash in the Caribbean, police say
- America Ferrera Reveals How Kerry Washington Helped Her During Postpartum
- Another Caitlin Clark triple-double powers No. 3 Iowa women's basketball past Rutgers
- Vermont man is fit to stand trial over shooting of 3 Palestinian college students
- Oscar Pistorius Released From Prison on Parole 11 Years After Killing Girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp
- Ryan Tannehill named starting quarterback for Tennessee Titans' Week 18 game vs. Jaguars
- Will Taylor Swift add a Golden Globe statue to sit next to her 12 Grammys?
Recommendation
Celtics' Jaylen Brown calls Bucks' Giannis Antetokounmpo a 'child' over fake handshake
Baltimore celebrates historic 20% drop in homicides even as gun violence remains high
The year in review: 2023's most popular movies, music, books and Google searches
Suit challenges required minority appointments to Louisiana medical licensing board
Moana 2 Star Dwayne Johnson Shares the Empowering Message Film Sends to Young Girls
'Secret tunnel' project under Virginia home shut down after complaints, TikToker says
Turkish justice minister says 15 suspects jailed ahead of trial for spying for Israel
Georgia governor names Waffle House executive to lead State Election Board